A huge amount of attention and pressure is put on moms to achieve the “perfect” breastfeeding latch. It’s unclear how something so basic in our evolutionary biology got steered in a direction that made so much “wrong.” I often think back to my years of living in Tanzania, where women had very low intervention births (minimal intravenous fluid, no epidurals) and breastfeeding occurred much more naturally as a result. If moms did need help, sisters, mothers, aunts, and others assisted with very simple measures.
I never saw moms tensing up, repeatedly re-latching a baby over and over again to get the “correct” amount of areola or “deeper latch,” seeking out procedures to cut their baby’s tongue and other natural mucosal surfaces, or flipping and adjusting their baby’s lip constantly.
If your baby is transferring milk, gaining weight, and you don’t have any pain, it really does not matter what the latch looks like. Nipples can vary considerably in their elasticity (flexibility/stretchability) and therefore more elastic nipples can look “lipstick” shaped without there being any problem. And if a baby is clamping a lot with a lot of high milk/supply from mom’s end, they are going to tend to flatten the nipple. If mom doesn’t have pain, it’s ok!
If a mom does have pain, she needs to be evaluated for hyperlactation (oversupply), vasospasm, blebs, dermatitis, neuropathic (nerve-level) pain in conditions such as DMER. Otherwise, it is very simple and there’s no need for “rules.” An exhausted mom doesn’t need to try to align a baby in a very specific way, there’s no need to get a huge amount of breast tissue in baby’s mouth at first past, and no need to “sandwich” a breast that just flattens out the nipple and makes a water balloon effect for a baby to try to grasp.
My friend and colleague Tracey Davey in Australia took these great teaching images. Take a little tiny pinch of the areola, stimulate the nipple to be erect, and put it in baby’s mouth. Hold onto the areola for about 20 seconds or so, enough for the baby to really start sucking on its own (if you release it too fast, the baby may lose the nipple erection stimulation to keep sucking).
“Perfect” techniques and perfect nipples are not realistic nor required!
Take a little gentle pinch of the areola, stimulate the nipple to become firm, and hold that pinch as you guide nipple and baby together.
